Let me say this first:
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Don't think that a gun is a magic talisman- that if you wave it at a bad guy he'll disappear in a puff of smoke.
If you decide to keep a gun for self-defense you must be willing to use it against someone if necessary. You must know that you could do so before you decide to keep a gun for self-defense.
The only acceptable reason for shooting a human being is self-defense. Only in situations in which "it's you or them" are you morally (let alone legally,) permitted to shoot someone.
When you shoot someone you are not doing so with the intention of killing them. No matter what all the macho gun guys say or teach. Your only goal is to save your life. You may shoot to stop, not to kill.
But that doesn't mean you should shoot them in the leg or fire a warning shot.
This is a very confusing distinction.
You must never point a gun at something you are not willing to destroy. You must never un-holster your gun unless you are willing to use it. But when you are shooting a person your goal is not to kill them, it is to stop a deadly attack. In such a situation it is imperative to stop the attack as quickly as possible, and so you aim to do the most damage in the smallest amount of time. However, once you are no longer in danger- once your attacker is no longer threatening you, you may not continue to inflict damage upon them. No coup de grace. No shooting someone who is running away. Once they are no longer posing an imminent danger to your life you may not harm them.
Reading Material:
Armed and Female: Paxton Quigley
Effective Defense- The Woman, The Plan, The Gun: Gila May-Hayes